Laying the Foundation: Building Relationships with Intention

Hello, Eligible Family,

Last week I participated in the Habitat for Humanity Juneteenth GLV wall raising. After speeches, photos and fellowshipping, the wall raising began. As we started nailing the 2x4s together, I remember thinking, “I’m so glad that we have experienced builders out here with us because real people people will be living here!”

When I arrived the experienced carpenters had already laid the foundation and prepared the site so that I could participate in the next phase of building.

The experience made me think about the relationship framework we’re using for Eligible.

Over the past year, I’ve had many conversations with old and new friends about monogamy, commitment and trust. These are all key values in the Eligible community. In one conversation, I was surprised to hear about the lives of people who are openly living among multiple partners. Now I’ve read the Old Testament enough to know about polygamy. There are explicit examples of people who lived at a time when women had limited social and economic power. I realize how nuanced today’s relationships are, but I still put a good man with little material wealth over a king with ten wives any day.

Then there’s the commitment conversation. While some people slide into lasting relationships, most couples in strong, lasting relationships describe their bond as an active choice. Like hammering those nails into the 2x4s, commitment holds everything in place. Without that, even the smallest storm can cause things to fall apart.  

While our biological parents and our village played a huge role in building our foundation, we are ultimately responsible for creating healthy adult relationships.

If it takes Habitat and other builders 6 to 12 months to build a single family home, imagine what it takes to build a lasting partnership with another human being.

It’s not easy. But I believe that committed, monogamous purpose partners can build something that shelters generations to come.  

In Peace & Love,  

Alecia Brewster

Founder of Eligible